September 17, 2006

Buy or Sell: WWE Unforgiven

By John Miller

Edge (champ) vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs): This feud has been the only reason to watch Raw lately. Neither is known as a great worker, but Edge and Cena have definite chemistry inside the ring and out.

I love the home-field advantage element. After beating Cena in his “hometown” of Boston – I thought he was from West Newbury? – Edge is wrestling his match in his hometown, Toronto.
Normally, I’d call that a double whammy against Edge. Vince loves jobbing guys in their hometowns and in their specialty matches. (Think about it. How often does Undertaker job? Not much. But how many casket matches has he lost? Exactly. Good thing WWE doesn’t stop in Death Valley or Parts Unknown.) However, a title change would be premature. A win would mean infinitely more to Edge than Cena.

Don’t be shocked if this match steals the show. It’s TLC, so Edge will come up with some creative spots. Plus, although Cena isn’t Chris Benoit, crazy brawls are right up his alley.

Triple-H and Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and The Big Show (Hell in a Cell): Please, please, please tell me this is the end. If I have to endure another month of HHH putting over his in-laws, I’ll jump off the Titan Towers.

The more WWE uses Hell in a Cell, the more it loses its mystique. Don’t expect anyone to fall off the cage, but Michaels and Shane will likely take the sickest bumps.

In the end, the match will most definitely be overbooked with run-ins galore. That can be good or bad, but it’s generally not my cup of tea. No matter what, DX is winning. You can take that to the bank.

Lita (champ) vs. Trish Stratus for the Women’s Championship: Hopefully, this match is a fitting farewell to Stratus, perhaps the greatest female wrestler ever. Again, the hometown factor comes into play for Stratus, but really, does Lita need the rub that badly? I say Stratus wins the title, and it’s vacated the next night on Raw.

Will the match be good? Hard to say. Lita is sloppy and rusty, but Stratus will leave it all in the ring.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito: The Smackdown Carlito and the Raw Carlito are completely different people. For whatever reason, it’s okay for the Raw Carlito to unleash his aerial attack. In my opinion, Carlito has gone from over-pushed heel to under-pushed face.

It’ll be interesting to see if these two have any chemistry. Orton is hit-and-miss. Sometimes his primary offense is a chin lock, but when he’s with the right opponent, he’s gold. His matches with Rey Mysterio earlier this year were always entertaining, and his series with The Undertaker was surprisingly good.

Don’t plunk down 40 bucks for this match, but it could be a solid curtain-jerker.

Johnny Nitro (champ) vs. Jeff Hardy for the Intercontinental Championship: Nitro might be the most underappreciated Raw wrestler. He’s also the only Tough Enough winner that became a real asset. It’s a shame MNM was broken up after Joey Mercury was sent to drug rehab. That was the best WWE tag team WWE since the Hardys/Dudleys/Edge & Christian era.

Speaking of the Hardys, Jeff is getting a nice push since returning, despite wearing out his welcome in WWE and then TNA. I’ll set the over/under at three months until he’s A.W.O.L. for a house show.

The fans love the swanton bomb, but Hardy is notoriously sloppy. Don’t expect any miracles.

Kane vs. Umaga: Triple-H and Shawn Michaels put Umaga over in consecutive weeks, and yet, still no one cares. Vince, take a hint.

The Spirit Squad (champs) vs. the Highlanders for the WWE Tag Team Championship: The Spirit Squad’s problem is it has five members, but only two can defend the titles. Thus, none of the members have distinguished themselves in the least. It’s a good gimmick, but WWE screwed it up.

They brought in Roddy Piper this week, so the Highlanders winning seems inevitable. Frankly, we haven’t seen enough of either team to anticipate a classic, especially when you never know which two cheerleaders will defend the titles.

The Verdict: The card has some potential, but Cena/Edge is the only match I’d pay to see. So, I must sell Unforgiven. Even if you’ve got money to burn, burn it elsewhere.